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12th June 2002

padmeamidala6:22am: Shopping List!
I invite one and all to peruse my to-buy list before I go out and hit the Terran shops.

Tell me if any one of you need something from that planet by commenting on said list.

Now I must go have a bubble bath to refresh before I embark on such a spree.
Current Mood: busy

11th June 2002

yojimbo11:50am: "I go in peace"
What's with all this "I go in peace" crap the idiots at the jediscouncil put at the end of all their posts.. it's so stoopid.. I dont see any Sith saying "I go in war".

Whattup wit dat?
Current Mood: gone in peace lol

nute_gunray11:50am: Tho thith ith the fabled 'New Jedi Order'...
Rock the houthe.
Current Mood: devious

ki_adi_mundi1:53am: Party Time!!
I think our New Jedi Order needs a party in our cabin!! I'll bring the champagne!! Also, I was thinking, wouldn't it a be an absolute blast if we all dressed in drag? I sure think so! Oh, and what do you think of a game of Spin the Bottle. And a male Wookie stripper. What do you think boys?!?!
Well, I'm off to try to get some action from the trees :D Open up trees, I'm coming in!!
Current Mood: enthralled

chewiewookie3:47am: hmrr-rowl-uufff
Hrmmm ufff mrrrow urrrrr hmmrmmwwwrr ggrrrowl mrrrrrwwrr!

I hate when damn R2 beats me at Holochess. Too bad he doesnt have arms to rip off. But golden robot does. I rip his arms off someday. I fixed him at Cloud City so i can tear apart. Im at Ewok victory celebration now. I gotta drop by the council cabin and rip off Mace's arms.

yojimbo3:42am: free pizza
god i love doing the Jedi Mind trick on those sap pizza delivery people to get free pizza. It's when Ki Adi uses the Jedi Mind trick to seduce them that I get pissed off..

10th June 2002

yojimbo7:36am: Location of our hangout
I feel like an idiot.. I never said where the cabin was! No wonder noone has come by to visit or hang out.. the cabin is in the Alpha3 sector of Endor.. don't worry, we're not near those damn ewoks. I hate them so.. i hate them so! I decided to go around the area and I met a couple of them and they kept making "Hut-cha!" sounds so I pelted them with rocks and cooked them for dinner.. Mace and I had some good home cookin. (I didnt tell him it was Ewok tho.. he said it tasted like chicken.. everything tastes like chicken it seems..)
Then Mace started complaining about not having any watermelon with his chicken.. and at that very moment Ki Adi came home and said "I'll be your watermelon"

I have never seen Mace so pissed. It was hilarious. What was funnier tho is that Ki Adi slept with a couple Ewoks the previous night.. some orgy methinks.. it'd be funny if I ate one of the Ewoks that banged him. hehehheheh.

So anyway we're on Endor.. we always welcome new guests!

padmeamidala6:09am: Greetings
Greetings, hot and sexy valiant Masters of the New Jedi Order.

*winks all around*

I am on my way to Terra right now, so if any of you need something from this planet, like maybe new strappy leather boots or mean whips for illicit S&M games, please feel free to make a note in this frequency. That will immediately update my shopping list. I intend to bring back such items as gifts to everyone.
Current Mood: bouncy

8th June 2002

jarjar3:43am: Meesa in big poodoo now
Meesa day startin wit a brisky mornin walk den bam! Meesa forgot to put on meesa clothes! So der meesa am walkin roun naked esposed an all and what you tink happen? Some Naboo couple was makin out an all and dey saw me! It be illegal an all to walk around nekked yousa know so dey called de police and got me awwested!

So meesa got trown in de jail with udda Nabbo baddies and dey decided to have some fun with dissa gungan. Dey fucked me in de ass! Can yousa bewieve that?! Meesa still a virgin! Meesa first experience was wit a Naboo criminal. Meesa very ashamed and angry.

So anyways, meesa got out of jail, but little did meesa know that the security camera filmed meesa gettin raped! Now the video is being sold on eBay and if any of ussed Gungans find out meesa be the laughin stock! Boss Nass won't be happy at all. In fact, dere is a reward out if someone find who stole hissen computer. But dissen hidin safe. Noone even find it.

Oy. Meesa had a very bad day. Meesa tink I need to sleep.
Current Mood: viowated

yojimbo3:21am: Hey yo
Hey there.. what's up dudes! We're just chillin here at the Council Cabin here in the woods. Last night when Mace went out to find some wookie babes and Ki Adi went to the 'Tool Box', some new club (i think there some strange gay innuendo in that but Im not sure), I invited some local chick over for some rum and parcheesi. We were having a great time! Before we could get to the love-makin, she had to go get something from the car (i didn't have any condoms and she insisted on it.. actually I insisted on it.. I don't trust the locals and theres nothign worse than a diseased Jedi).. so she went out and never came back!

No she didn't get in her car and leave. The car is still here (im gonna have to hear it from Mace Im sure "Yo! What's up with this bitch's car here?").. but anyway what had happen was this: I didn't realize that at night the trees around here come alive. So I think the trees kidnapped her and raped her or something. Whatever living trees do. I started to go out there, but the trees started hurling apples at me, so I thought it best to stay inside and finish off the rum. I tried to order a pizza, but the trees ate the delivery boy too. So now I know if anyone's gonna come over, they'd better do it before it gets dark.

It's gonna put a damper on any kind of parties.. we just can't let anyone leave while it's dark.. like we'd let friends drive drunk.. so remember if you get drunk and think you can drive and get all hissy with me, I'll let the trees eat ya! I need to figure out a way to communicate with them and form a symbiotic relationship with them. Like maybe invite bums over so the trees can eat them and we live in harmony.. ya know?

But still.. this is gonna be tough to explain to Mace and Ki Adi, I'm sure. I hope Ki Adi spends the night at some vagrant's house instead of coming back tonight or he might get eaten. That'd suck, right? *whistle*

6th June 2002

mace_windu11:37pm: HEY YO BITCHES !!!
I swear bitches, Tenacious mutha fuckan D is nothin but shit. Any mutha fucka who digs them is a fuckin shit bag, and a punk ass bitch. Ya dig !?
Current Mood: aggravated

5th June 2002

mace_windu6:23pm: Holla at me my bitches
Whats crackin bitches !? Mace fuckin Windu here, givin a shout out to all ya'll mutha fuckas joinin up on the New fuckin Jedi Order. You got any problems, tell yojimbo, cause I dont give a fuck. Ya dig !?
Current Mood: mellow

ki_adi_mundi4:51pm: Hello New Jedi Order!! Hee hee!!
Now, who wants the first ki_adi_mundi blowjob of the New Jedi Order!! I'm ready to start sucking! Tee hee!
Current Mood: horny

chewiewookie6:45pm: Hrrrr-mrhhwoooooar-hrmmm
Hnnnk mhhuuurh grr Hhrrr rooooohwh hrwrrh grrr!

*Roughly translated by a protocol droid*
"Who is this Mace Windu thinking he can bang all our wookie women? As soon as I find this black mofo, I'll rip his arms off! Grrrr!"

yojimbo6:21pm: We got a Council ... Place!
I went hunting to find a place where we can hold like Jedi Council meetings or whatnot, and even tho I am a little short on Republic Credits lately (Damn you, Dr. Know!), I was able to find a SWEET place! It's this cabin in the middle of the woods.. you guys are gonan absolutely love it! What a bargain! I took a picture of it too!

That's funny.. it looks liek there's eyes or something.. must be like a lens flare or development error.. those weren't there, I swear! I wonder what it is..

yojimbo5:58pm: Memories of Jedi Camp
Oh how I miss Jedi Camp when I was just a young kid.. long before I was trained by Count Dooku.

This one time, at Jedi Camp, this girl put her lightsaber handle in her pussy.. with the blade part sticking out.. and then she accidentally turned it on! She had this lightsaber like sticking out of her crotch! it was so weird!

I guess that's why I was trying to get my (i guess former) padawan, curetpillargirl to pleasure herself with the lightsaber handle so I could see that again.. but then she was all like against self-pleasuring and stuff. Oh well, we had other pleasureable activities to say the least..

jarjar5:32am: Hello boyos!
Hiyo! Meesa Jar Jar Binks! Meesa so glad dat dere is community I can be part of! Meesa muy muy glad! People be hatin me everywhere! Anydo, meesa a humble gungan on Naboo. Boss Nass hatin it when he catch me on hisa computer. Heesa do tewwible things to me.. tewwible things! He make meesa stick tongue in weird pwaces. Meesa no like it. Meesa gonna stand up for meesaself. So meesa stole a computer to use. So meesa stole Boss Nass's. Meesa don't tink hesa be too happy bout that. Heh heh. But okeyday. I hid it in secret place! He never find it here!.

Oh meesa hungry. No more talkin online. Meesa find food!
Current Mood: hungry

yojimbo4:36am: Welcome to the New Jedi Order
Welcome! I am Yojimbo, a ronin Jedi exiled from the jediscouncil after a long story and a lot of bad words. I welcome you to this new community, where Jedi and non-Jedi alike are welcome to share their adventures, that hopefully will intertwine with others. Well that's all I have to say about now.. makign this page has made me tired.. If only I was on Bespin with mace_windu right now hitting off the carbon pipe. Ooooh yeah.
Current Mood: new

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